━━ According to psychologists, a healthy relationship should follow the 5:1 rule.
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A lot of couples think they have a great and almost problem-free relationship. Sometimes, however, this can be an illusion and an attempt to ignore reality. However, psychologists advise how to know if your partnership is functional. Just watch for these few signs during arguments.
There is no formula by which to judge relationships. However, certain factors suggest whether a relationship has a solid foundation and the partners take an equal approach. However, conflicts are the most significant indicators.
Psychologists John M. Gottman and Robert W. Levenson looked at couples and how they resolved arguments. In the 1970s, they began conducting studies in which they asked partners to resolve a dispute within 15 minutes. The bottom line was the balance between positive and negative interactions. So they concluded that love will endure if the 5:1 ratio is maintained. This means that in a functional relationship, for every negative interaction during an argument, there are five positive interactions.
Subsequently, they listed certain characteristics that are indicative of the quality and functioning of the relationship. If you follow these principles, you can breathe a sigh of relief.
You should pay attention to your partner. If something is bothering them, listen to them. If he or she is in a noticeably bad mood, ask what caused it. Simply put, you should show interest, even if it is trivial. Make your partner feel that you are interested in him and want to share his troubles.
It is equally important to express your affection. Even though you may think your feelings are obvious, your partner may not see it that way. If you tell him more often that you love him, you will not only make a beautiful gesture, but also let him know that you are there for him in every situation and will always support him. According to psychologists, expressions of affection even reduce stress.
━━ In relationships, how you behave during arguments is important.
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Thinking about your partner often influences how you treat them. In your relationship, try to remember the good times you had together. Also think about what you appreciate most about your counterpart. It is common to think of all the negative aspects during arguments, but try to reverse the thinking and remember the good things. If you regularly give him compliments, you will strengthen the relationship.
It’s hard to find the positives during arguments, but that’s the way to success. If you focus on what you agree on, disputes will more easily come to a peaceful resolution. At the same time, by accepting your partner’s point of view, you indirectly communicate that you care about what they are expressing out loud.
You achieve mutual connection through empathy. If you can empathise with your partner, you can give them the understanding and love they need. During arguments, try to empathise with what is bothering him or her and you may find it easier to understand where his or her arguments are coming from. Likewise, you should not be reluctant to apologize if the fault was on your side. Blaming your partner lays the groundwork for continued conflict.
You don’t have to agree with your partner’s opinions and life choices, but you should respect them. Keep in mind that acceptance does not mean agreement, but it is a sign of appreciation and consideration.
Humour and playful banter are aspects that give a relationship a solid foundation. Sharing joy and funny catchphrases is a common way to release tension. Moreover, many couples use their own jokes that only they understand, and this is what brings them closer together.
Arguments in a partnership don’t necessarily mean problems. What matters is how you approach conflict and how much you respect your counterpart. If you’re still holding your point of view, that’s wrong. But if you try to balance the bad with the good, you are choosing the most ideal path to a functional relationship. And finally, the ability to laugh about everything together is essential.
