People are late in responding to you: You may be forgetting 2 words that increase response by 70%, one of which is “please”

Sometimes I feel like people forget about civility in internet conversations. And not only friends, but often colleagues at work or superiors. In my opinion, messages in emails, but also via various mobile apps, should be written in the same way as when we ask a person for something in real life. But people often forget to say thank you, or leave the word “please” out of the vocabulary altogether. No wonder they wait a long time for a reply.

A friend of mine works in a company where email communication between co-workers is key. But she often complains that she doesn’t actually want to reply to some messages. Because others want something from her and are unable to ask. In reality, they would never forget this basic courtesy. I have a feeling it’s not just work. Even communication between friends online is somehow lacking in words that we normally say every day.

We reciprocate helpfulness with helpfulness.

Social networks and the online environment in general make our lives much easier. But we humans also tend to look for shortcuts. We feel that messages via mobile phone should be punchy and quick because it also gets things done quickly. But the truth is elsewhere. In fact, psychologists report that we very often tend to reciprocate helpfulness with friendliness, so if someone treats us nicely, we respond quickly and pleasantly. Conversely, we respond to a brief, emotionless message after a longer period of time and in a similar tone.

Researchers recently conducted a study on more than 350 thousand work emails and text messages. They tracked their length, but also how people communicate with each other. It turned out that politely ended messages had up to 70% higher response rates. Words like “thank you” and “please” turned out to be really important.

Short, clear, polite

The important thing is to be polite. However, it’s true that no one wants to read unnecessarily long messages, especially when it comes to business communications. So in practice, you should always write emails or online messages that are concise, clear, and include a thank you at the end. Of course, if you are asking for something, be sure to ask for it.

It is true that I personally would much rather respond to such a message than to an email that is long, describes the problem in an unnecessarily complicated way and lacks the basics of polite communication. Yet I know full well that if someone were to address such matters with me personally, I would hear both a plea and a thank you. In an online environment, people simply forget these things, although they definitely shouldn’t.